JOEY MCINTYRE - LA BLUE

Maybe I’m crazy but I think I’m here to stay
Where my soul’s 3,000 miles away
I don’t need a million dollar deal to make me
Damn I miss you
I’d walk back to get you if I could
Can’t stand another night in Hollywood
I need another way to open up my mind

It’s not fair
How’d you get so far away
The more I imagine me there
The more the memories fade
And I won’t be coming back anytime soon
If you could only feel my

La Blue..
What can you do?
You won’t be here forever
It’s all in your mind

I WAS LUCKY TO HAVE HIM

he said, “It would be nice to be your boyfriend.
he must be a lucky guy. I’m so jealous.”
so I laughed (like always), “hahaha… not him. but me.
I was lucky to have him.”

So of course,
I didn’t mean for go on with those things and I didn’t mean to get so close with them.
confused?
and so did I. bahahahaaa..

because, I’m too afraid to get hurt.

I’m kind of person who doesn’t believe with any relationship.
yes,
I’m not comfortable with those things.
relationship, friendship, and every (bla-bla-bla)-ship.
I do believe, words are really not strong enough to describe what’s inside.
and I also think that every relation just blocking my mind too.
I might hurt them, they might hurt me more. but I can’t barely move because this “relation” is too strong.. those commitment, those loyalty, those promises.
Sometimes, I do what I should do but it doesn’t mean I want to.
Okay,
I’m not that naif.
I did that for a reason and I was stupid to accepted that..

now, I just get tired of chasing everyone or trying to escape.
These are the people —> they are so real.
this feelings too.
everything!

finally I realize,
I must accept that I can’t live without this (bla-bla-bla)-ship things.
because they have told me everything.
so I learn how to let go or let anyone comes to my life all over again.
nothing last forever, so I’ll be patiently to smile and live the life again.

I’ll always know you,
maybe I can’t remember name or all the story we had before.
but I do remember voices and your shape.
thanks had came to my life, even it’s just temporary.

just,
thank you

DON'T LET GO

saya memang hanya baru 5 bulan berpacaran dengan pacar saya.
tapi masalah memang selalu ada.
kadang saya ingin mencakarnya sampai ketulang-tulang.
membanjurnya dengan bensin lalu memasukannya kedalam petromak.
atau mencekiknya sampai bola matanya keluar.
dan berbagai hal sadisme lainnya.

tapi entah karena dia terlalu sabar, dan saya hanya seorang “moody”an.
tapi kita memang tidak pernah benar-benar bertengkar seharian.
semua masalah selalu diakhiri dengan dia meminta maaf.
dan dimenit berikutnya, saya yang meminta maaf karena saya memang tidak seharusnya seegois itu.

YANG MEMBUAT SAYA TIDAK DEWASA ADALAH

saat saya tau, seharusnya saya meminta maaf saat saya melakukan kesalahan. tapi tidak saya lakukan
saat saya tau, seharusnya saya memberikan yang terbaik saat orang itu benar-benar membutuhkan saya. tapi tidak saya lakukan
saya saya tau, seharusnya saya mengabaikan hal-hal yang penting dan fokus kepada hal yang bukan menjadi masalah saya. tapi saya malah melakukannya.
dan yang terburuk adalah..
ketika saya mengetahui semua sifat buruk saya itu, tapi tidak dapat mengubahnya sampai sekarang.
nyatanya, sifat saya 4 tahun lebih muda dari umur saya.
sering kali saya terdiam dan mencoba untuk berpikir.

Tuhan,
beri saya waktu..
saya ingin memperbaiki semuanya.
saya hanya butuh waktu, sedikit lagi..

THREE PASSIONS HAVE GOVERNED MY LIFE

withnowplaying : Brandy - Have You Ever

The longings for love, the search for knowledge,and unbearable pity for the suffering of humankind.
love brings ecstasy and relieves loneliness, with equal passion I have sought knowledge.
I have wished to understand the hearts of people.
I have wished to know why the stars shine.
I have wished everything that I may asked from my head.
I’m tormented, I’m crushed, I don’t know what to do.
I’m confused, I’m lost, I totally got no clue.
then,
I’ve come to realize that destiny can hurt a person as much as it can bless.

“Sometimes it’s hard to say no when you really mean yes, it’s hard to close your eyes when you really want to see, it’s hard to forget when you really can’t and the hardest is to go when you really want to stay.”

almost 2am and I still can’t make this eyes shut.
I turned on my PC and turned on my Windows Media Player.
I opened folder from six months ago. and opened my most playing list..
I founded my beloved song “Malam Biru”.

I always say that : I will not remembering my past. It’s painful enough to remember.

but I dared myself to play this song with max volume.
then,
I honestly cried with a smile.
I really miss that moment.
the moment I falling in love with a person with acoustic guitar.
the moment I do silly things with my best friend..
the moment I enjoyed the day without pressure.
I really miss that time..
I miss them all..
I miss you :(

“you’ll find it in the words of others, a simple line can make you laugh or cry,
you’ll find it in the deepest friendship, the kind you cherish all your life,
and when you know how much that means, you’ve found that a special thing.”

2am become 3am.
it’s time for me to let go and moving on again.

sleep well, dear.
so long and good night :)

so special♥

wnp : Michael Buble - U’ll Never Find

the time will come..

and if it’s come to us, I will play this song and take you away.

I will take you to the most romantic place ever. just us.

I will kiss your forehead and hold your hand so tight.

we will see little orange lamps around us, candles, trees, grass, fireflies..

yes, we will be in a secret garden, this garden must be looks like an allans garden :)

we will play this song and dancing all night long.

but if you get tired with dancing,

we can lay on the grass and watch the fireworks.

I will put my head on your shoulder and I will hold your hand until we fall asleep..

until the morning sunlight hurt our eyes..

yes,

we will leave the chaos for awhile..

forget the world,

forget all the things we should have left behind,

no pressures, no sorrows, no worries..

I will make you feel so comfortable as I am, because I miss you so much

I will tell you everything

yes, I will tell you that secret too..

the secret about that special person in my life.

this person is the nicely person I ever had in my entirely life.

and the person is not the “december boy” who you always jealousy for.

because the “december boy” is actually my best friend :p hahaha

this person is adorable and sweet..

the nicely person I ever had in my entirely life is, 

you ♥

I CAN FEELING WHAT U FEEL

PLEASELAH JANGAN COPPYCAT BISA YA

You take somebody that cries their goddam eyes out over phony stuff in the movies, and nine times out of ten they’re mean bastards at heart. I’m not kidding.

Anyone can get dressed up and glamorous but it is how people dress in their days off that is most intriguing

You never lose by loving, but you always lose by holding back.