PACAR GUE NIH

BRUNOMARS MUAH♥

You walk before me, lord knows I can’t follow
You walk behind me and I don’t think I can lead
You walk around me, please don’t walk around me
Cause you know how dizzy I get.

HEART, MIND, AND I JUST TOO..

my heart too overdose.

my mind too overdose.

and I’m just too overdoing.

———————————————ARGHHHH!!!

One night to be confused
One night to speed up truth
We had a promise made
Four hands and then away
Both under influence
We had divine sense
To know what to say
Mind is a razorblade

To call for hands of above to lean on
Wouldn't be good enough for me, no

One night of magic rush
The start - a simple touch
One night to push and scream
And then relief
Ten days of perfect tunes
The colors red and blue
We had a promise made
We were in love

To call for hands of above to lean on
Wouldn't be good enough for me, no
To call for hands of above to lean on
Wouldn't be good enough for me, oh

And you, you knew the hand of a devil
And you kept us awake with wolves teeth
Sharing different heartbeats in one night

To call for hands of above to lean on
Wouldn't be good enough for me, no
To call for hands of above to lean on
Wouldn't be good enough for me, oh

omaigad

HOLD ME.

Hold me, don’t ever leave me

Know me, never believe me

Stay here but don’t get too near me

Leave me alone, but don’t ever let me go

Show me, but don’t ever teach me

Touch me, don’t try to reach me

Hold me, but don’t ever keep me

Baby, don’t ever let me in!

—And don’t let me win—

‘Cause I leave myself to you

Yes I release myself with you

I believe in me and you

So don’t ever say you do

Love me, try not to need me

Lead me but don’t let the greed in

Feel free but don’t ever leave me

Give in, don’t ever let me…

No, don’t ever let me win

Hold me don’t ever leave me

Ask me but don’t ever make me

Save me, don’t ever forsake me

Call me but don’t ever say my name

‘Cause I leave myself to you

Yes I release myself with you

I believe in me and you, so don’t ever say you do.

Don’t let me win, just hold me!!

Now, how can I let you go?

THE BEST OF YOU

I’ve got another confession to make, I’m your fool

Everyone’s got their chains to break, holding you..

Were you born to resist or be abused?

Is someone getting the best of you.

Are you gone and onto someone new?

I needed somewhere to hang my head, without your noose.

You gave me something that I didn’t have. Nor had no use.

I was too weak to give in. TOO STRONG TO LOSE!!

My heart is under arrest again, but I break loose.

My head is giving me life or death, but I can’t choose.

I swear I’ll never give in.. I refuse!

Has someone taken your faith?

Its real, the pain you feel.

You trust, you must confess.

The life, the love, YOU DIE TO HEAL.

The hope that starts..

The broken hearts!!

I’ve got another confession my friend,

I’m no fool.

I’m getting tired of starting again,

Somewhere new..

It’s funny how the people that hurt you the most, are the ones that swore they never would.

I miss u a little..
[a little too much,
a little too often,
a little too hard]

I guess I’ve grown tired

If u died right now. U know that I died too..

I JUST FEEL..

gue pengen punya dia, lebih dari ini.

but,
I just feel….
It’s really kind of hard for me to do this.

YOU HAVE TO LIVE TO LOVE, LOVE TO LEARN, AND LEARN TO LET GO.

I Believe I’m Not In Love ..

masalah saya sejak bulan kemarin

• -g konsen belajar
• -kepikiran janji
• -kepikiran hutang
• -terlalu bnyk bikin rencana
• -hrsnya semakin rajin shalat. rupanya msh belang beton.
• -susah fokus
• -konsisten melemah
• -catetan g tau pada kemana
• -tugas 40%
• -kurang tidur
• -uang habis g jelas
• -kurang gizi
• -anemia
• -insomnia
• -stalking
• -jealousy overdose
• -kampret
• -cape
• -aduduh
• -argh
• -A!

apaan sih ini orang.

• please lah, sehariiii aja g post tentang kekayaan lo itu. bisa ga?
• baru pertama gue punya temen yg show off ny bkn main.
• coba, sehari aja g ngmngin merk atau uang.
• kyknya tu org g bisa.
• timeline gue penuh sama lo.
• mau gue remove tp tkt lgsg ketauan.
• y udh deh.
• as long as u like.
• toh gue g terganggu,
• cmn risih. lo ribet amat jd org.

U NEVER TRIED

After all the things I’ve done for you. you never tried to do the same.It’s like you always play the victim and I’m the one you always blame.
when you need someone to save you. when you think you’re going to drown.
you just grab your arms around me and pull me down.

#DEARSOMEONE

My love
I’ll never find the words, my love
To tell you how I feel, my love
Mere words could not explain
Precious love
You held my life within your hands
Created everything I am
You taught me how to live again
Only you
Cared when I needed a friend
Believed in me through thick and thin
This song is for you
Filled with gratitude and love
God bless you
You make me feel brand new
For God blessed me with you
You made me feel brand new
I sing this song ‘cause you
You make me feel brand new

My love
Whenever I was insecure
You built me up and made me sure
You gave my pride back to me
Precious friend
With you I’ll always have a friend
Someone who I can depend
To walk a path that sometimes bends
Without you
Life has no meaning or rhyme
Like notes to a song out of time
How can I repay
You for having faith in me
God bless you
You make me feel brand new
For God blessed me with you
You made me feel brand new
I sing this song ‘cause you
You make me feel brand new

-boys2men u make me feel brand new

I try to talk to you, but I don’t know what to say. I am afraid you don’t want me to say anything. So I don’t. But inside of me there are words waiting to come out.And tell you how I feel-like how I miss you. And how I love you despite my broken heart.And how I need you in my life. And especially how much I want you.But those words may forver stay in my heart-locked inside.Sometimes I wonder if there are words locked inside you too… but I’ll never know.

Yes I love him. I love him more than anything else in this world and there is nothing that I would like better than to hold on to him forever. But I know it’s not for the best. So no matter how much my heart is going to break, I’ve got to let him go so he can know just how much I love him. Maybe if I’m lucky, he’ll come back, but if not, I can make it through this.

DEAR, YOU..

I miss you when something really good happens, because you are the one I want to share it with. I miss you when something is troubling me, because you are the one who understands me so well. I miss you when I laugh and cry because i know that you are the one that makes my laughter grow and my tears disappear. I miss you all the time, but I miss you most when i lay awake at night and think of all the wonderful times we spent with eachother;for those were some of the best times of my life

BUT,

because u love her.

and I just don’t know what I’m doing here.

I can’t say that I’m waiting.

but I’m still here :(

I wish she know every sweetest things that u’ve done for her.

I wish she know that u really like her.

I wish all the best for you.. :)

LUCKY I’M WITH THEM

Not everything has to mean something. Some things just are.

pacaran sama kamu kayak macarin kamus.
saya cape harus terus ngebaca.
ngebaca tingkah cuek kamu.
ngebaca kamu tiba-tiba marah.
harus ngebaca kamus bahasa jepang pula.
saya cape.
saya bukan mantan kamu yang pinter dan rajin ngetranslate semua kata-kata kamu.
saya masih kelas 1 SMA dan menurut saya, itu terlalu ribet buat saya.

ego+sabar = harmonis
ego+ego = meledak!

saya orangnya pemalu. cenderung malu-maluin

aku menerimamu apa adanya. dan apa alaynya

THE USED-SMOTHER ME ♥ ♥

Let me be the one who calls you
baby all the time
Surely you can take some comfort
knowing that you’re mine
Just hold me tight, lay by my side
Let me be the one who calls you
baby all the time

I found my place in the world
Could stare at your face for the rest of
my days
Now I can breathe, turn my insides out
and Smother me
Warm and alive I’m all over you
Would you smother me?

Let me be the one who never leaves you all alone
I hold my breath and lose the feeling that I’m on my own
Hold me too tight, stay by my side
And let me be the one who calls you
baby all the time

I found my place in the world
Could stare at your face for the rest of
my days
Now I can breathe, turn my insides out
and smother me
Warm and alive I’m all over you
Would you smother me?

When I’m alone time goes so slow
I need you here with me
and how my mistakes have made
Your heart break
Still I need you here with me
Baby I’m here

Now I can breathe, turn my insides out
and smother me
Warm and alive I’m all over you
Would you smother me?

Now I can breathe, turn my insides out
and smother me
Warm and alive I’m all over you
Would you smother me?

Let me be the one who calls you
baby all the time
Let me be the one who calls you
baby all the time
Let me be the one who calls you
baby

CONFUSED.

Lord you know I’ve cried a thousand tears tonight,
But nothing seems to quench the thirst you keep on craving,
But now I need an answer to my prayers and your not there.

#NP WALKING AFTER YOU

Tonight I’m tangled in my blanket of clouds…
dreaming aloud.
Things just won’t do without you, matter of fact.
I’m on your back, I’m on your back, I’m on your back.

If you’d accept surrender, I’ll give up some more.
Weren’t you adored?
I cannot be without you, matter of fact…
I’m on your back.

If you walk out on me, I’m walking after you.
If you walk out on me, I’m walking after you.

Another heart is cracked in two, I’m on your back

I cannot be without you, matter of fact.
I’m on your back, I’m on your back, I’m on your back.

If you walk out on me, I’m walking after you.
If you walk out on me, I’m walking after you.
If you walk out on me, I’m walking after you.

i  feel.. : u’re so far away :(

disaat mayoritas wanita mengikuti program diet.
saya kesurupan makanan.

END

I don’t regret the rain or the nights I felt the pain or the tears I had to cry some of those times along the way. For every road I had to take, every time my heart would break, it was just something I had to do to get me to you.

• to love is nothing .
• to be loved is something .
• to love and be loved is everything .
• i am nothing .
• you are something .
• so let me be your everything : *

I love u because u’re so lovable” :)

Beauty in paradise is not free. The question is whether people are prepared to pay the price
in changing their habits and cultural traditions for that beauty to always be.

I never knew you until I did. And when I finally did, you were like someone I’ve known for a very long time. I then remembered, you are the one my heart has been talking about.

DREAM LAST NIGHT

I had a dream last night. You were there. I tried to hide you but they came to take you away. I tried to wake myself up to stop the pain, I never did. But I want you to know, I died fighting.

" I (had) Love You” don’t make me change that to “You are the most I (really) want to discard”

hobby aku kalo mau tidur!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SOMETHING’S WRONG

something’s wrong when i can’t seem to think straight
something’s wrong when my heart beat comes a bit late
oh so wrong, cause you are standing too near
awfully wrong, the truth is all too clear

***
i have chilled my heart, i have cooled my blood
my love life’s in a deep freeze, a never opening bud
my comfort is in a silence, you must not make a sound
solitude is so hard to keep up whenever you are around

something’s wrong or maybe it’s so right
that i just don’t feel so strong
something’s wrong how can i be grounded
when my minds on the higher ground

oh so wrong… cause i feel but cannot hear
the rhapsody of our song…

i can rule my head, i can’t control my soul
but i won’t stay in this state cause i just can take the cold
my comfort is in silence, you must not make a sound
solitude is so hard to give up whenever you are around, you’re around…

back to ***

something’s wrong when i can’t seem to think straight
something’s wrong when my heart beat comes a bit late
oh so wrong, cause you are standing too near
something’s wrong… let’s make it right…

I hate everything about that day except you.

I close my eyes,
and all I see is you.
I close my eyes.
I try to sleep.
I can’t forget you.

I’LL

I’ll always be there for you
When you need someone well I’ll be that one
I’ll do all my best to protect you
When the tears get me all right
I’ll be the one that’s by your side

When you’re sick I’ll take care of you
Take your darkest night and make it bright for you
I’ll be there to make you strong
And to lean on
When this world has turned so cold
I’ll be the one that’s there to hold

And I’ll love you more everyday
And nothing will take that love away
When you need someone
I promise I’ll be there for you

YOU MAKE ME FEEL BRAND NEW

I was lost in a lonely place could hardly even believe holding on to yesterday.
Far, far too long.

Now I believe it’s ok cause this time it’s real.
I never knew that love could feel so good.
Like once in a lifetime, you change my world.
You make me feel brand new :)

No relationship is perfect, ever. There are always some ways you have to bend, to compromise, to give something up in order to gain something greater…The love we have for each other is bigger than these small differences. And that’s the key. It’s like a big pie chart, and the love in a relationship has to be the biggest piece. Love can make up for a lot

THAT I WOULD BE GOOD :)

That I would be good even if I did nothing
That I would be good even if I got the thumbs down
That I would be good if I got and stayed sick
That I would be good even if I gained ten pounds

That I would be fine even if I went bankrupt
That I would be good if I lost my hair and my youth
That I would be great if I was no longer queen
That I would be grand if I was not all knowing

That I would be loved even when I numb myself
That I would be good even when I am overwhelmed
That I would be loved even when I was fuming
That I would be good even if I was clingy
That I would be good even if I lost sanity

That I would be good whether with or without you

GOD!! :((

saya malu dengan Tuhan, saya hanya mengingatnya disaat saya terpuruk jauh dari semua kenyataan.
saya merasa jauh dengan Tuhan karena saya selalu merasa dia tidak adil dengan saya.
saat itu saya marah karena betapa banyak luka yang harus saya rasakan, sehingga aku merasa Engkau tiada.
seandainya saat itu saya berbalik, mungkin saya dapat merubah keadaan yang tidak saya inginkan.
tapi, hari ini saya sangat sadar.
sekarang saya menangis..
tiada yang lebih baik dari semua jalan yang Kau berikan.
semua ada alasannya.
kalau saja saat itu saya tidak terjatuh, tidak mungkin saya dapat membedakan mana kesakitan dan kenikmatan.
kalau saja saat itu saya selalu diatas dan mendapatkan semua yang saya miliki, mungkin yang saya rasakan sekarang hanya hamnpa.

Tuhan,
selama ini aku lalai.
maafkan aku Tuhan..

terima kasih untuk segala nikmat yang Engkau berikan.
saya akan selalu mensyukuri segala kenikmatan maupun kesulitan yang harus atau akan aku dapatkan nanti.

Terima Kasih :)

If you should ever find someone new, I know she’d better be good to you :)”

THANK YOU :3

He said, “I missed you.”
I said, “I missed you too.”
Then he fell silent and so did I.
then I said, “Thank you.”
He asked, “For what?”
I said, “For giving me back my life.”
He smiled and said, “Then thank you for starting mine.” 

THIS IS WHAT I KNOW

Someone asked me why I hold on,
I smiled.
What made me fall for him,
I stayed silent.
They asked me why of all people,
I chose him.

I answered,
“In this world of lies, he’s only the truth I know”.

MY DREAMED PRINCE CHARMING.

now playing : Usher feat Puff Daddy - I Need A Girl


setiap wanita punya pria impian.
namanya juga pria impian.
“impian” berarti sesuatu yang tidak real. belum tentu nyata. abstrak.
pria idaman.
pria yang diidam-idamkan.
biasanya udah liat orangnya, terus mupeng sambil mangap.
tipe-tipe pria kepengenan tapi ga kesampean.

gue sendiri punya pria impian seperti ini :
-kocak/humoris.
-easy going,
-nakal tapi smart (klo ngobrol, omongannya berisi..
 umpama cireng, polos diluar tapi warna warni dan gemuk didalam—>jijik banget dah ngeumpamainnya ga penting amat),
-suka main tapi pinter,
-bisa main musik,Apalagi gitar  :3
-bisa main bola,
-sopan/tau etika,
-bisa karate/capoeira,
-punya lesung pipi,
-kalau senyum matanya nyipit,
-wawasannya luas,
-pola pikirnya ga begitu monoton,
-wangi,
-tinggi,
-dibehel,
-pundaknya tegap/lurus,
-rambutnya ga lurus. semi semi gelombang/kriting,
-kulitnya coklat,
-suka pake jam tangan di tangan kanan (saya suka seseorang yang menghargai waktu),
-ikut orhanisasi/himpunan,
-punya komunikasi yang baik dengan ibunya (minimal saya tahu dia penyayang dan tidak durhaka),
-belum pernah pacaran,
-suka olah raga (minimal lari, bagus banget kalau suka berenang),
-memelihara binatang (apapun. karena biasanya seorang pria yang mempunyai binatang cenderung setia),(kecuali kucing.karena saya benci kucing)
-bisa main game walaupun tidak addict,
-punya tujuan hidup,
-tanggung jawab,
-seagama, seras, dan sederhana.
-dia mengenal orang-orang disekitar saya dengan baik.
-dan menyayangi saya :3

R : “Rano Karno. lo suka Rano Karno? pinter dan tahi lalatnya kocak. tipe lo banget. hahahaa “
B : HAHAHAHHAHAHHAAA… setan!


oke, itu hanya kriteria pangeran impian saya.
yang mungkin hanya dongeng semata karena (mungkin) tidak ada yang sesempurna itu.
atau bahkan memang saya belum menemukannya.
mungkin dia ada disana, disuatu tempat yang jauh disana.
atau dia ada disini, hanya saya belum menyadarinya

SAD :((

with playing : Michael Jackson-you are not alone

sering saya merasa kalau kebutuhan sehari-hari saya tdk pernah cukup.
kadang saya melihat kehidupan dari segi materi.
“kehidupan ujung-ujungnya bergantung pada uang, bukan pengalaman.”
ide ga bakal jadi apa-apa kalau ga dibantu praktika lapangannya, peralatan, atau apalah.
dan semuanya harus ada duitnya, setelah itu barulah semua ada feedbacknya.
uang uang uang
pengen deh sehari dapet uang jajan sejuta.


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

ada dua nenek nenek yang selalu saya lihat saat pergi dan pulang ke kampus.
1. nenek diperempatan jalan yang terduduk letih, memakai kebaya yang sudah tidak layak pakai,
badannya sangat kurus dan kecil, dan nampaknya sudah tidak begitu kuat lagi untuk berjalan.

2. nenek penjual surabi di daerah pasar jum'at.
keadaan nenek ini sebenarnya tidak lebih baik daripada nenek yang mengemis diperempatan jalan itu,
bahkan saya rasa, nenek ini membawa beban lebih berat lagi.
dia harus membawa kayu bakar dipunggungnya. sekaligus perabotan dan bahan-bahan untuk membuat surabi itu.
saya tau, tidak banyak orang yang konsumtif dengan surabi.
apalagi dia menjualnya dipinggiran jalan yang penuh dengan asap dan debu,
dan bersebelahan dengan pasar tradisional yang mungkin kalian tau lah keadaannya.. —> benar-benar TRADISIONAL SEKALI, bahkan ubinnya a.k.a tanah.

dan bisa saya katakan, nenek itu hampir sepenuhnya menopang badannya diatas tanah.
menunggu pembeli sambil merapihkan kayu bakar dan susunan untuk membuat surabinya itu.
dia sangat teliti dan apik.
dia bahkan membersihkan tanah yang ia duduki.

saya sekolah jam 7 pagi dan pulang sekolah kadang sampai jam 4 sore.
nenek penjual surabi itu masih terduduk ditempat yang sama sambil menjual surabinya.
kayu bakarnya masih setengah menyala.
itu tandanya dia tidak pernah benar-benar mematikan apinya.
sepertinya dia letih dan mengantuk.
tapi dia tidak menyerah.
saya merasa iba..
lalu saya berhenti sejenak dan membeli surabinya.
kalian tau harga surabinya berapaaa?!!! surabi yang ukurannya cukup besar itu??
500 rupiahhhhhhh!! :(
permen dikampus aja minimal 1000 kalau mau dibeli.

dia menjualnya sambil tersenyum.
saya memberinya 20000, dan dia nampaknya tersinggung.
dia mengembalikan uang saya sepenuhnya.
dia tidak ingin disantuni.
akhirnya saya beli semua dan saya bagikan ke pengamen di perempatan jalan itu.
lalu saya teringat nenek-nenek pertama itu.

esok harinya, saya tidak melihat nenek-nenek itu diperempatan jalan.
saat dua hari berikutnya, saya melihat dia sedang duduk ditrotoar, dan dia berbicara dengan angin.
saya sangat sedih melihat kejadian itu.
betapa keadaan dapat merubah psikologis seseorang.
she lost her mind, she lost everything.. then she met her own world.
then she fall asleep,
and closing her pray forever.. :(
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

dan saya sadar.
harusnya saya melihat kehidupan 2x lipat dari sudut pandang yang sebelumnya saya lakukan.
seharusnya saya melihat kedaan dari mereka yang bahkan kesulitan untuk segelas air bersih.
terima kasih Tuhan..
semoga saya dapat menjadi manusia yang lebih baik lagi.
dan limpahkanlah ‘kekayaan-Mu’ untuk mereka Tuhan..

DEAR MY GREATEST ENEMY : (I’M SO TIRED OF YOUR STUPID GAME).

friends??
what friend(s)??
u’re very good at lying
so dont try to say you’re sorry or try to make it right
don’t waste your time because it’s too late.
you has the power to hurt me, if I trust u again.
I just have to accept that “some good things never last.”
it’s okay for me to be your friend, it’s better than nothing.
we shared some laughs, we shared some tears, all these and more throughout this far.
but now it’s over, everything is gone. My memories of you have shattered one by one.
if only promises could erase the past, I could open my heart enough to take you back.
but we’ve been down this road time and time again and I’ve learned the hard way how the story always ends.

laugh can’t be more than pretending.
It’s so easy to save you with those lies.
but you hate a liar, me neither.

I made complaining because my friends get hurts too.
do you have a mirror?
so maybe you can remember yourself.


must be exhausting to lose your own game.
u starting this, and it’s not over yet.

“so thank you for showing me
that (best) friends cannot be trusted
and thank you for lying to me
your friendship, the good times we had
you can have them back
i wont forget what you did to me
how you showed me things i wished i’d never see”



stay..



please, just stay..

stay away from me.
so I can’t do worst (than this).

19 SEPT

I miss you to stay awake and had a long conversation with me, I hope we will have again someday.
well, when the situation not too awkward again :p
I still wish u’ll be my best friend ‘till the end.

have a nice dream,
and so long ({})

I MISS U SO BAD

JOEY MCINTYRE - LA BLUE

Maybe I’m crazy but I think I’m here to stay
Where my soul’s 3,000 miles away
I don’t need a million dollar deal to make me
Damn I miss you
I’d walk back to get you if I could
Can’t stand another night in Hollywood
I need another way to open up my mind

It’s not fair
How’d you get so far away
The more I imagine me there
The more the memories fade
And I won’t be coming back anytime soon
If you could only feel my

La Blue..
What can you do?
You won’t be here forever
It’s all in your mind

I WAS LUCKY TO HAVE HIM

he said, “It would be nice to be your boyfriend.
he must be a lucky guy. I’m so jealous.”
so I laughed (like always), “hahaha… not him. but me.
I was lucky to have him.”

So of course,
I didn’t mean for go on with those things and I didn’t mean to get so close with them.
confused?
and so did I. bahahahaaa..

because, I’m too afraid to get hurt.

I’m kind of person who doesn’t believe with any relationship.
yes,
I’m not comfortable with those things.
relationship, friendship, and every (bla-bla-bla)-ship.
I do believe, words are really not strong enough to describe what’s inside.
and I also think that every relation just blocking my mind too.
I might hurt them, they might hurt me more. but I can’t barely move because this “relation” is too strong.. those commitment, those loyalty, those promises.
Sometimes, I do what I should do but it doesn’t mean I want to.
Okay,
I’m not that naif.
I did that for a reason and I was stupid to accepted that..

now, I just get tired of chasing everyone or trying to escape.
These are the people —> they are so real.
this feelings too.
everything!

finally I realize,
I must accept that I can’t live without this (bla-bla-bla)-ship things.
because they have told me everything.
so I learn how to let go or let anyone comes to my life all over again.
nothing last forever, so I’ll be patiently to smile and live the life again.

I’ll always know you,
maybe I can’t remember name or all the story we had before.
but I do remember voices and your shape.
thanks had came to my life, even it’s just temporary.

just,
thank you

DON'T LET GO

saya memang hanya baru 5 bulan berpacaran dengan pacar saya.
tapi masalah memang selalu ada.
kadang saya ingin mencakarnya sampai ketulang-tulang.
membanjurnya dengan bensin lalu memasukannya kedalam petromak.
atau mencekiknya sampai bola matanya keluar.
dan berbagai hal sadisme lainnya.

tapi entah karena dia terlalu sabar, dan saya hanya seorang “moody”an.
tapi kita memang tidak pernah benar-benar bertengkar seharian.
semua masalah selalu diakhiri dengan dia meminta maaf.
dan dimenit berikutnya, saya yang meminta maaf karena saya memang tidak seharusnya seegois itu.

YANG MEMBUAT SAYA TIDAK DEWASA ADALAH

saat saya tau, seharusnya saya meminta maaf saat saya melakukan kesalahan. tapi tidak saya lakukan
saat saya tau, seharusnya saya memberikan yang terbaik saat orang itu benar-benar membutuhkan saya. tapi tidak saya lakukan
saya saya tau, seharusnya saya mengabaikan hal-hal yang penting dan fokus kepada hal yang bukan menjadi masalah saya. tapi saya malah melakukannya.
dan yang terburuk adalah..
ketika saya mengetahui semua sifat buruk saya itu, tapi tidak dapat mengubahnya sampai sekarang.
nyatanya, sifat saya 4 tahun lebih muda dari umur saya.
sering kali saya terdiam dan mencoba untuk berpikir.

Tuhan,
beri saya waktu..
saya ingin memperbaiki semuanya.
saya hanya butuh waktu, sedikit lagi..

THREE PASSIONS HAVE GOVERNED MY LIFE

withnowplaying : Brandy - Have You Ever

The longings for love, the search for knowledge,and unbearable pity for the suffering of humankind.
love brings ecstasy and relieves loneliness, with equal passion I have sought knowledge.
I have wished to understand the hearts of people.
I have wished to know why the stars shine.
I have wished everything that I may asked from my head.
I’m tormented, I’m crushed, I don’t know what to do.
I’m confused, I’m lost, I totally got no clue.
then,
I’ve come to realize that destiny can hurt a person as much as it can bless.

“Sometimes it’s hard to say no when you really mean yes, it’s hard to close your eyes when you really want to see, it’s hard to forget when you really can’t and the hardest is to go when you really want to stay.”

almost 2am and I still can’t make this eyes shut.
I turned on my PC and turned on my Windows Media Player.
I opened folder from six months ago. and opened my most playing list..
I founded my beloved song “Malam Biru”.

I always say that : I will not remembering my past. It’s painful enough to remember.

but I dared myself to play this song with max volume.
then,
I honestly cried with a smile.
I really miss that moment.
the moment I falling in love with a person with acoustic guitar.
the moment I do silly things with my best friend..
the moment I enjoyed the day without pressure.
I really miss that time..
I miss them all..
I miss you :(

“you’ll find it in the words of others, a simple line can make you laugh or cry,
you’ll find it in the deepest friendship, the kind you cherish all your life,
and when you know how much that means, you’ve found that a special thing.”

2am become 3am.
it’s time for me to let go and moving on again.

sleep well, dear.
so long and good night :)

so special♥

wnp : Michael Buble - U’ll Never Find

the time will come..

and if it’s come to us, I will play this song and take you away.

I will take you to the most romantic place ever. just us.

I will kiss your forehead and hold your hand so tight.

we will see little orange lamps around us, candles, trees, grass, fireflies..

yes, we will be in a secret garden, this garden must be looks like an allans garden :)

we will play this song and dancing all night long.

but if you get tired with dancing,

we can lay on the grass and watch the fireworks.

I will put my head on your shoulder and I will hold your hand until we fall asleep..

until the morning sunlight hurt our eyes..

yes,

we will leave the chaos for awhile..

forget the world,

forget all the things we should have left behind,

no pressures, no sorrows, no worries..

I will make you feel so comfortable as I am, because I miss you so much

I will tell you everything

yes, I will tell you that secret too..

the secret about that special person in my life.

this person is the nicely person I ever had in my entirely life.

and the person is not the “december boy” who you always jealousy for.

because the “december boy” is actually my best friend :p hahaha

this person is adorable and sweet..

the nicely person I ever had in my entirely life is, 

you ♥

I CAN FEELING WHAT U FEEL

PLEASELAH JANGAN COPPYCAT BISA YA

You take somebody that cries their goddam eyes out over phony stuff in the movies, and nine times out of ten they’re mean bastards at heart. I’m not kidding.

Anyone can get dressed up and glamorous but it is how people dress in their days off that is most intriguing